I was flipping through some of my old posts on shouck.com the other day, namely because its webhosting plan had officially expired and I wanted to see whether or not it was still “live.” It could take a few days before it’s cleared from the caches. I also noticed that it dropped on the google search index. Haha. Not that it really matters.
The Internet is a strange place. This mix of private but for public. I was reading through some of my past entries…some, albeit tampered, were quite personal. And friends who responded with comments responded in a very personal way too. I loved that about the Internet. At the same time, there were others who I knew was reading my blog that I didn’t quite feel comfortable about. It’s strange, because when a post came up in conversation with specific people I normally wouldn’t have intimate conversations with, I felt like my privacy had been violated. A bit ironic right? Hence my move towards another blog, and much less bits of information about my inner thoughts and wants. Just the more superficial stuff. I’ve also refrained from Facebooking this new blog for that reason…even though the ever ego-stroking stats would go kazoom.
I’m a strange creature. I like privacy, but I like public display of emotion i.e. theatre/creative express through arts. I see blog posts as a form of expression. The good ones that choose to be personal somehow convey a larger human reality. As in like literature, where the life of a distant character offers insight into our own. Of course, there’s the unabashedly superficial ones that just provide pure entertainment. Nothing wrong with that.
I have to make a tribute to the “ah-kong” of Singapore bloggers, Danny-bunny/aka Fankeow. Yah lor, he truly is. His was one of the first Singaporean blogs I came across when “blogs” started to come to be. Back then, it was still known as web-log. Wow…I actually know the roots of the word blog. Anyway, it was his slick designs with smalltheatre and and dannybunny.com (if I remember correctly) that got me inspired. I realize now that whether intentionally or unintentionally, I’ve been kinda following his footsteps, sometimes plagiarizing. Hehe, I think at one point he blogged that imitation was the best form of compliment. Didn’t realize your choice of free blog service was also wordpress, D.! Haha
I guess I still do like the idea of a blog. A fun, easy, and communal way to share thoughts and to practice writing for an audience. I am afterall in the media business. I suppose what I would prefer is for readers to see my blog as one representation of me, and not me. “A human simulacrum,” to borrow a term from my theory class, where I no longer am myself, but something relatable to everyone.
And they said my theory class wouldn’t be of practical use….pfft…what do they know.